tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post5336088559638280038..comments2024-03-28T19:03:24.043+00:00Comments on THE SMALL THINGS: Most people.Tania Kindersleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-63416852802109136642016-03-20T22:29:11.600+00:002016-03-20T22:29:11.600+00:00I go back and forth, I think. Sometimes I delight ...I go back and forth, I think. Sometimes I delight in my job and my life, and sometimes I am prone to feeling beaten down by the incessant questions. I'm an interdisciplinary and married-without-children academic who flips from extroversion (which I often find necessary for teaching) to introversion (goodness, I can't go on talking forever). It's steady in some ways, but very ebb-and-flow in others, and many people think that I am very odd indeed. "Why wouldn't you just..." is a sentence beginning that I hear often.<br /><br />I also love pets and old friends. The beings (animal and human) who can pull off just being together without asking questions feel like my life's blood so much of the time, and I do adore hearing about how your mares do the same thing for you.Aleciahttps://twitter.com/aleciamarienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-67797979606032376902016-03-15T08:40:25.967+00:002016-03-15T08:40:25.967+00:00I take great delight in being your kind of 'od...I take great delight in being your kind of 'odd' :-) I have never ever wanted marriage or children, I simply cannot think of anything more tiresome and soul destroying than my life not being my own, & my home not being my own little haven of introvert peace where I don't have to deal with any of the people if I don't want to!CMHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05919012576499901400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-67563336542967859502016-03-15T08:39:57.166+00:002016-03-15T08:39:57.166+00:00I take great delight in being your kind of 'od...I take great delight in being your kind of 'odd' :-) I have never ever wanted marriage or children, I simply cannot think of anything more tiresome and soul destroying than my life not being my own, & my home not being my own little haven of introvert peace where I don't have to deal with any of the people if I don't want to!CMHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05919012576499901400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-14923328240980676192016-03-14T11:54:06.812+00:002016-03-14T11:54:06.812+00:00I tick all those boxes - introvert, living alone, ...I tick all those boxes - introvert, living alone, chose not to have children - save that I do have a partner but we don't live together. I think it's so important to have role models and friends who live in a similar way other wise it can feel lonely. I have a wonderful friend who calls women like us Soloists, which I really like. One of the many reasons I love reading you is that you are one of those voices that makes me feel as if I am part of a tribe just as much as 'most people' so thanks, as always, Rachel Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-89541552385954861302016-03-14T08:25:46.905+00:002016-03-14T08:25:46.905+00:00Indeed. I think you'll find you are not as ...Indeed. I think you'll find you are not as 'other' as you imagine, whether that is comforting or not. Expectations (and judgements) are mostly generated by media and by perhaps the more conservative of us. I think we could turn the perceptive words of Bowie (RIP) into a clever metaphor here. " It amazes me sometimes, that even intelligent people will analyze a situation or make a judgement after only recognizing that standard or traditional structure of a piece." x JanelleJanellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05125077795925721552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-23741293794450186892016-03-14T02:02:02.367+00:002016-03-14T02:02:02.367+00:00I just want to thank you for a wonderful post.
Li...I just want to thank you for a wonderful post. <br />Like you I am a happily unmarried introvert, have no children and no "real job" (literary translator). Sometimes it IS hard not being "most people" and I did a lot of explaining when I was younger. I try not to be rude, but I donĀ“t explain anymore. <br />MariaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-52922237478906571532016-03-13T21:55:48.897+00:002016-03-13T21:55:48.897+00:00There are more of us living alone and childless th...There are more of us living alone and childless than you think and probably because, thank God, we women now have a real choice. I read you on a Saturday - I look for you every day! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18119944809792597914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-64359470961299024022016-03-13T15:53:50.236+00:002016-03-13T15:53:50.236+00:00Oh, Tania - in being "odd" you are actua...Oh, Tania - in being "odd" you are actually just part of a whole other wave of inclusion! By that I mean all of us odd ladies who never wanted to have babies, get married, or do anything that the movies of the 1950s showed us doing. There are LOADS of us - myself included - and we are all doing our own thing, finding our own way, forging our own path, and doing it as unapologetically as possible!<br /><br />Whenever I find myself being concerned with what other people think about how I live, I realize it's because I'm actually unhappy with some aspect of my own life. Similarly, when I find myself shouty and angry with someone (happens very rarely, but still) I do a short self-inspection and find out 99% of the time that I'm actually angry with myself over something I know I should or should not have done, and I know better, and am taking it out on someone else.<br /><br />I suppose what I'm saying is - if we women are going to be odd and do our own thing, it's not really fair of us to expect the rest of the world not to notice, not to comment, not to wonder why we do what we do. It's human nature to be clannish, to be curious, and to try and find out why certain individuals do or don't do what the rest of the crowd is doing.<br /><br />Don't take it as an insult, even if the curiosity is expressed in a rude manner, because the majority of people are very self centered and rudeness is a side effect of that.<br /><br />I pride myself in my many oddities, and I take every mention of it by others as a confirmation, an affirmation, and a compliment to my oddity, no matter how it was intended by the speaker, or how poorly they expressed their commentary.<br /><br />I used to work in an opthalmology office. One of my tasks was giving a 20 minute eye test to elderly patients. A lady I had never seen before came into the office to take her test, and promptly asked me if I had any children. When I said no, she said it was because I was selfish. I smiled and said that I thought that women who had children when they could not take care of them and did not love them were much more selfish. She ignored that, and proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes telling me about her horrible, selfish children who had ruined her life.<br /><br />Basically, she was more about "misery loves company" than wishing I had had a life made more joyful by the inclusion of children. There's always more to the story, if you listen hard enough.<br /><br />I've never wanted children, and I did at one time proclaim to the heavens that I would never get married. At the age of 36, Cupid abandoned his tiny bow and arrow and bonked me over the head with a cudgel and I knew that I really did want to get married. Fortunately, my husband had already had children with a previous spouse, and was happy with my decision not to have any myself.<br /><br />I have found happiness and pride in my oddness(es), and I hope that you take up the mantle with more of that in coming days!<br /><br />Here's a thought: Do you have any idea how many housewives, over-run with nappies and whatever horrible children's television shows are currently popular, dream of living on a farm in Scotland with horses and dogs, and writing books, and being a marvelous, pioneering woman of oddity?<br /><br />I'd bet there are LOTS.<br /><br />Hip-hip-HOORAY for the Odd Women of the World! (OWW for short)Marchelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07697295230446820295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-42656210643452745242016-03-13T01:47:00.632+00:002016-03-13T01:47:00.632+00:00I am reading on a Sunday at 1.40 am in terms of no...I am reading on a Sunday at 1.40 am in terms of not being a pack animal I find sleep when I can and that's that. I'm English but don't look it and when I speak French I don't sound it, I am a city girl living in the country, I like climbing trees and cooking bone broth, can't make small talk..<br /><br />Your different seems to me your individuality which whilst we celebrate International Women's Day, Mary Shelley, Suffragettes, Queen Victoria and her children, Victoria Pendelton ...I could go on - seems to be quite 'normal' !<br /><br />I'm sure you know The Road Less Travelled - I always read that when I feel ...you know..<br /><br />Here's to Sunday wailing. I'm off to Mass shortly in a tiny village Church and I am not Catholic..where was I ?!Place to stand...https://www.blogger.com/profile/13625165785757881094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-74736199857934365512016-03-13T00:49:47.202+00:002016-03-13T00:49:47.202+00:00You are not one of the herd. Hooray.
Of course it...You are not one of the herd. Hooray.<br /><br />Of course it's much easier to be one of the herd,but there are huge pleasures in not belonging;the occasional period of despondency and self-questioning simply highlight the real value of being true to oneself and living the life you choose. <br /><br />I love to read about your life and thank you (silently) for every post you write.<br /><br />Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10959624249031770681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-26308276641984769082016-03-12T18:05:29.509+00:002016-03-12T18:05:29.509+00:00I read on a Saturday. I read every day - I have fo...I read on a Saturday. I read every day - I have for years and years. And when you asked yesterday what Londoners thought about reading about birdsong and mud - the answer is that it swells my heart with joy when I read of the remote places and see your pictures. I am so grateful to you for sharing your life in this way. <br /><br />Also, I have a very full time job, a husband and a small daughter and people are always behaving as if I was not one of Most People; there are lots of different ways to be Othered as some people always need to feel themselves part of Most People and can achieve it by Othering you.Peabody_Bitesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-61344235641137062802016-03-12T17:01:34.188+00:002016-03-12T17:01:34.188+00:00Well I certainly read your blog on Saturdays. And ...Well I certainly read your blog on Saturdays. And as your first responder said - we are legion. I'm married but we never wanted children, which was somehow OK for my husband but considered beyond the pale for me. That was back in the 60's when the Pill made childlessness a possibility even if not quite acceptable. How sad that it is still thought of as "odd". Who care about Most People anyway. I so enjoy your writing and appreciate being in receipt of your thoughts and worries and amazing ideas. And what good news of your beautiful mares, lucky you and lucky them.<br /> Thank you for sharing with us. GillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-76162656261588721242016-03-12T12:48:16.769+00:002016-03-12T12:48:16.769+00:00We are legion. We keep brushing off the suggestion...We are legion. We keep brushing off the suggestions and expectations until one day, we hope, they won't be deemed necessary by most people. Tnoreply@blogger.com