tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post6118440959726506431..comments2024-03-27T12:08:02.812+00:00Comments on THE SMALL THINGS: Turning the cornerTania Kindersleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-44597778624898290222012-07-29T17:35:36.147+01:002012-07-29T17:35:36.147+01:00Erika - Oh, yes the paddling. Know it so well. And...Erika - Oh, yes the paddling. Know it so well. And am very, very glad you appreciate the lower lip. It slays me.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-89281553299618318902012-07-29T17:34:59.163+01:002012-07-29T17:34:59.163+01:00Susan Heather - It's taken me a while to reali...Susan Heather - It's taken me a while to realise the missing never goes away. And I think perhaps it never should.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-62584335337971191052012-07-29T17:34:22.116+01:002012-07-29T17:34:22.116+01:00Jules - So, so lovely to have light from the glori...Jules - So, so lovely to have light from the glorious Welsh mountains. Thank you.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-48669041059803614672012-07-29T17:33:50.546+01:002012-07-29T17:33:50.546+01:00Pearl - thank you. I sometimes think that L Cohen ...Pearl - thank you. I sometimes think that L Cohen really is the soundtrack of my life.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-10593127783005903612012-07-29T17:33:29.674+01:002012-07-29T17:33:29.674+01:00Anon - this is such a great and lovely comment and...Anon - this is such a great and lovely comment and you have given me a lot to think about. Thank you.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-65948009758297272172012-07-29T17:33:02.456+01:002012-07-29T17:33:02.456+01:00Pat - So know those kind of tears. What my old god...Pat - So know those kind of tears. What my old godmother used to call 'tears coming out at right-angles'.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-47167404844819169562012-07-29T17:32:24.827+01:002012-07-29T17:32:24.827+01:00Marcheline - I think you are so right. It just tak...Marcheline - I think you are so right. It just takes a few false starts to learn.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-90307155501635889192012-07-29T17:31:45.349+01:002012-07-29T17:31:45.349+01:00Imo - what a very, very lovely thing to say; thank...Imo - what a very, very lovely thing to say; thank you.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-56511334592223234402012-07-29T11:09:15.023+01:002012-07-29T11:09:15.023+01:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-76103085974267626792012-07-27T10:14:19.317+01:002012-07-27T10:14:19.317+01:00Tania,
I've followed your blog for months, bu...Tania,<br /><br />I've followed your blog for months, but have never commented before. Anyway, i just wanted to say, you're an inspiration, on so many levels.<br /><br />ImoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-10185761234168521442012-07-27T00:40:54.983+01:002012-07-27T00:40:54.983+01:00I think we are all pretending a bit. And with Cas...I think we are all pretending a bit. And with Cassie, I'm incredibly lucky enough to have a husband who I can fall apart in front of. The relief of not having to always be the strong one....Erikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08181307209370955942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-52489646453783003722012-07-27T00:38:21.196+01:002012-07-27T00:38:21.196+01:00Yes. Oh yes. And I think part of it is that trul...Yes. Oh yes. And I think part of it is that truly, time is NOT linear, nor are our emotions.<br /><br />Also loving "A standard of grace, not perfection", particularly as someone who paddles madly under the surface, has compulsive tidiness/control tendencies and is closely entangled with the nasty black dog of depression (side thought - why dog? dogs are lovely, especially black dogs like Pigeon or any of my much loved Rottweilers).<br /><br />So late with these comments on the last few posts, but have been lurgy ridden. Brain work *is* tiring, always get cross with people who say I can't be tired after sitting down all day, even if I've been doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out why something is broken and fix it. It's exhausting in a way that gardening all day isn't. Loving Red's wobbly lip. The power of touch is incredible, my dogs adore massage (as do I). Also loving all the close up photographs of plants and the new header. Lavender is one of my favourites, well up there with roses!Erikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08181307209370955942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-73941369246766327072012-07-26T22:44:58.676+01:002012-07-26T22:44:58.676+01:00My Dad died in 1985 and, even though we lived at o...My Dad died in 1985 and, even though we lived at opposite ends of the earth, I still miss him - I always will.Susan Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14400003572211042194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-13645491266894035812012-07-26T21:55:16.162+01:002012-07-26T21:55:16.162+01:00There is so much truth in what you have written. I...There is so much truth in what you have written. I have a grief of my own and the way I began to cope with it was to accept that I couldn't accept it. Once I did this, the grief began to lift in a way that it had not before. <br />Sending love and light from the mist enshrouded mountains of North Wales xJuleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08801395948291484409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-57471003891203143632012-07-26T21:46:49.772+01:002012-07-26T21:46:49.772+01:00That was truly lovely.
And anyone who quotes Leon...That was truly lovely.<br /><br />And anyone who quotes Leonard Cohen is a friend of mine. :-)<br /><br />PearlPearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05261369905176088917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-30977165945921158202012-07-26T19:38:06.973+01:002012-07-26T19:38:06.973+01:00I have been thinking about your comments a few day...I have been thinking about your comments a few days ago. The one where you thought about writing about emotions. I love your blog and your writing. Partly because I can really relate to it. I come here to find out what you are feeling and alot of the time it resonates. Although I have not experienced your kind of loss but your words explain you and where you are with your loss. I don't think your blog needs to change but I have been thinking about your germ of an idea about posting about 'emotions.' I once had a journal that had a little bit where you wrote in what you felt each day - today I am feeling, today I am happy about, today I am sad about, today I achieved............ I loved this journal and on the sad days I looked back at all the happy ones. Even of sad days there were good things happening. Journal keeping is a very private thing and for me blogging has replaced my journal keeping. I have journals all over the house but not yet shared my blogging. It's not that I want people to read and think - what a great writer, it is a little bit about 'sharing and connecting.' I don't like Facebook so much because I don't think people really connect, they show off. I also saw another blog the other day where the lady had kept the blog, then every year she created a book. I just wondered whether there is anything you can do to create an 'emotional journal' but one that you can share with lots of people every day - so you can document your mood but also help to connect and generate positivity. The idea would be to get share of lighten but then create positivity by trying to get lots of people to share their words, feelings and quotes. What good deeds happened today, what good things happened today. Why are you happy today? Why should we be happy today? What do we need to get mad about today? What one thing should we change in our lives today. There is alot of positive stuff on blogs but quite isolated and no great movement. What if you could get people to connect via an emotional journal and journey - then you would have a book each year too! Not sure how you police the crazy people (of which you may think I am one!!). Sorry to ramble on but just think you may be onto something! It does sort of tie in with your book but for that you can only read - with a blog movement you could contribute and you could move people to contribute.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-89855126122714211292012-07-26T18:47:23.894+01:002012-07-26T18:47:23.894+01:00It seems that acknowledging the feelings and allow...It seems that acknowledging the feelings and allowing them to be "lightens" the load. <br />I know from experience that trying to suppress -- or ignore stuff backfires big time on me. (And I can do a really believable front of appearing "contained".)<br /><br />Just had a good old tears horizontally out of the eyeballs cry the other day about something over which I have NO control (always a frustration!)...and also felt "lighter" later...Pat (in Belgium)https://www.blogger.com/profile/02367089351412953926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-72321646046665151312012-07-26T16:48:08.435+01:002012-07-26T16:48:08.435+01:00Every time you write something like this, I realiz...Every time you write something like this, I realize the "capable, contained" thing is what I've been trying, to avoid missing my dad.<br /><br />P.S. It doesn't work.Marchelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11201825708442679157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-36586074055867650572012-07-26T13:45:15.253+01:002012-07-26T13:45:15.253+01:00That has made me a bit teary. In a good way. Thank...That has made me a bit teary. In a good way. Thank you.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-74843837164317048382012-07-26T13:44:58.216+01:002012-07-26T13:44:58.216+01:00Thank YOU, for such a lovely and simple comment.Thank YOU, for such a lovely and simple comment.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-33229837823189096092012-07-26T13:44:26.169+01:002012-07-26T13:44:26.169+01:00You are always so wise and kind. Thank you for tel...You are always so wise and kind. Thank you for telling me that story; it is so human and true. I wonder if we are not all pretending, just a little, some of the time.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-13616797462363545292012-07-26T13:43:30.016+01:002012-07-26T13:43:30.016+01:00What a lovely comment. I love the standard of grac...What a lovely comment. I love the standard of grace line; I am going to remember that.Tania Kindersleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18355967725006605825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-44346433649422457782012-07-26T13:26:10.672+01:002012-07-26T13:26:10.672+01:00You are carrying your Dad with you, and you are le...You are carrying your Dad with you, and you are letting the light in, with everything you do with Red.Loulounoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-80055359501301133532012-07-26T13:12:02.015+01:002012-07-26T13:12:02.015+01:00This is beautiful. Thank you.This is beautiful. Thank you.Beatricehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09532912919556200160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1365244084462704027.post-2469127478033749442012-07-26T12:18:04.550+01:002012-07-26T12:18:04.550+01:00You are precisely right.
Can I say something abou...You are precisely right.<br /><br />Can I say something about the 'capable and self-contained' ones? To public view, I probably (mostly) come into that category. Sometimes it's true (yes, I can tidy my office, and create processes that make it easier to keep life running, and have a problem-solving sort of brain). (Oh, and yes: we are usually wondering whether the oven is off.)<br /><br />However, the trouble is that it becomes a HUGE responsibility when that becomes your IMAGE. It means you must be 'capable and self-contained' at all times: and that, believe me, is an enormous source of stress.<br /><br />Many, many moons ago, when my first marriage had finally hit the rocks after some painful times, I had a meltdown in the office. One of my colleagues came in and caught me at it. Her way of encouraging me, and making it all better, was to say "Oh, but Cassie, you'll be fine. You're always so capable and so in control." She meant it kindly; but at that moment, I didn't want to be capable and in control. I wanted to fall apart, and shout and bawl, and be looked after; but the world wouldn't let me. And that was a painful realisation.<br /><br />Happily, another friend understood this, and the kindest simple action I have experienced is when she took me out to supper, gently removed the menu from my hand, and ordered on my behalf. I can't tell you what a relief it was.<br /><br />Happier still, I now have dear friends, and most importantly, my darling husband, with whom it IS alright to fall apart. However, there's no getting away from the fact that the Big Smiley Face is always there. The joker, the capable one, the solution-finder. She's useful, but exhausting.<br /><br />"A standard of grace, not perfection": thank you for that, Jacqueline.<br /><br />And Tania: don't be frightened by us capable ones. Please. We are usually only pretending.Cassiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com