Thursday 19 April 2012

In brief

Posted by Tania Kindersley.

The day escaped from me so this is very quick.

The weather continues atrocious, cold and bleak and unforgiving. I yearn and yearn for spring. A dolefulness from the unkind elements and the thought of the anniversary of my dad is seeping into my bones. It shall pass, but it is uncomfortable. The wise people say that that is the secret of life, to learn to sit with the uncomfortable things. I say: every day can't be Doris Day.

Luckily my horse is being particularly sweet today. She is gentle and kind; she walks by my shoulder without a headcollar; she does not complain of the cold and the rain.

My dog is also particularly sweet. She sleeps by my side all day as I wrestle with my work and gaze out over the sodden grass and the drowned trees.

I make pesto for supper, and have it with ravioli, so I suppose all is not lost. If I can still make pesto, there are signs of life.

Vaguely, I take in that everyone is very, very cross with the Home Secretary.

Better tomorrow, better tomorrow, runs the mantra in my head. Tomorrow, who knows, there may be sun, literal or metaphorical.

 

The weather was too filthy for pictures, so here are some recent ones:

19 April 1 17-04-2012 17-58-56 4032x3024

19 April 2 17-04-2012 18-01-21 4032x3024

19 April 4 16-04-2012 17-41-24 4032x3024

19 April 6 14-04-2012 18-47-51 4032x3024

19 April 7 14-04-2012 18-48-21 4032x3024

19 April 8 12-04-2012 18-22-27 3024x4032

19 April 10 16-04-2012 17-30-29 4002x1239

19 April 11 12-04-2012 18-15-18 2463x3012

19 April 12 16-04-2012 17-31-51 4032x3024

19 April 13 16-04-2012 17-33-07 4032x3024

19 April 20 16-04-2012 17-44-15 3008x2000

6 comments:

  1. I can feel the heart ache in your words...I can't get over it being a year since I read his requiem. The first year anniversary is meant to represent a big deal - I read a lot about it when my Stepmother died. Still, I can sense the foreboding you feel. Sending you a virtual, friendly squeeze/glass of wine/cuppa tea/meaningful but understanding glance from the South. L x

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  2. Love the "Every Day Can't be Doris Day" line...I shall pinch that!
    Also loving reading about Red and your training/bonding. I am not in the slightest bit horsey but I love reading about this new beast in your life.
    Pigeons tongue....SO good to see her being cheeky.
    And as for the rest...anniversaries of loved one's deaths are always difficult but I think you are dealing with it all VERY WELL.
    I got this quote from the rather awful Eat,Pray, Love book but the quote is good at least..."All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well" .

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  3. I do hope "the awful Eat Pray Love book" gave full attribution to the orginator of that quotation. It was written by Julian of Norwich, the great English mystic (who was possible in a religious house, or maybe a layperson, but was most certainly a woman - for all that her name was Julian.

    I am very fond of "this, too, shall pass."

    Just getting out of bed of a morning and seeing what's what has a lot to be said for it. Grief isn't an illness, any more than most pregnancies are, they are both natural processes. Mourning is part of the human condition, needs to be done, cannot be rushed, and worth it in the end, however much we may howl with it and rail against it at first.

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    Replies
    1. Goldenoldenlady, yes it did, but I had forgotten who had said it! Thanks for reminding me and setting record straight.

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  4. Ah, anniversaries are hard. Not helped by dour weather. I am sorry and thinking of you.
    I hope you will take extra comfort from the divine Pidge and Red, a glass of something and some deep breaths of your glorious Scottish air. xx

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  5. The temperature tomorrow in Arid-zona is expected to reach 97 degrees F...wishing I were there, and you here!

    The Pigeon's majestic blue coat, and perfect tongue-on-nose, are wonderful!

    Hope you feel better soon, sending positive thoughts your way -

    robyn

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