Monday 28 October 2019

In Which The Asda Man Teaches me a Life Lesson





One of the things I really enjoy in life is thinking that I am a pretty decent person. I can’t tell you how much pleasure it gives me. I sit about and say to myself, ‘You know, you really are quite decent.’ I would be incredibly happy if, after I died, someone said, ‘She was pretty decent and she tried her best.’ I’d also like it if they mentioned the hats. I’m very proud of my hats.

And here is one of the things that pretty decent people don’t do: they don’t make assumptions. My dad taught me that, not by word but by example. He took people exactly as they came. If they made him laugh, he loved them. If they didn’t, he didn’t. (He didn’t hate them. I don’t think he was capable of hate. But he could not love the bores.)

This morning, I realised that I make assumptions all the time. 

I’d just got back from the farrier when the Asda man arrived. He is one of the very nicest of all the Asda drivers and I was pleased to see him. The sun was shining and we smiled madly at each other and talked about the autumn colours. Darwin the Dog and Stan the Man, equally delighted to see this beaming human, came out to say hello. 

There was something about the way the Asda Man spoke to them and handled them that struck me. 

‘You really know dogs,’ I said.

‘Oh, yes,’ he said, smiling more broadly than ever. ‘I used to work dogs.’

Working dogs well is one of the skills I admire the most in the world. I am slightly in awe of people who can work dogs. So I shot my eyebrows up into my hat (today, a rather fetching Scottish bonnet sort of article) and asked him more.

It turns out he used to work attack dogs for the Ministry of Defence.

Attack dogs! For the MoD! That is so hard core that I practically fell over. 

I wish I’d had time to ask him more, but all the groceries were unloaded by this stage and he had to go to his next delivery. 

We beamed at each other some more. 

‘I’m always pleased to see my regular customers,’ he said, and I felt the human warmth coming out of him like sunshine on a dark day and I wondered how many people he touched, every single day, with his kindness and his friendliness. 

But here is the assumption part. I was profoundly surprised by his revelation. I realised that I didn’t expect someone who drives a delivery truck to have been a hot-shot attack dog supremo. Which means that I must have a whole subliminal box-set of expectations about the kind of people who deliver goods. 

I sternly asked myself: what are those assumptions? Well, I suppose it’s a comparison thing. It’s not performing brain surgery or doing physics. It’s not one of the headline-act pursuits, like training the winner of the Gold Cup or playing Hamlet at the National Theatre. 

Now I stop to think of it, I realise that it must require a fairly demanding set of skills. You’ve got to be able to deal with difficult people, and be prepared for emergencies, and keep calm and carry on. I imagine it requires an ability to improvise. You’ve got to work those funny little hand-held computers and not panic when the machine says no. If you are really good at it, like your man today, you will make it more than just a job, and sprinkle a little happiness wherever you go. 

And I had just put it down as one of those ordinary, everyday jobs that I don’t stop and think about for a single second. 

There was nothing ordinary or everyday about that gentleman. He was rather an extraordinary human being, and he’d clearly led an out of the ordinary life. 

And he taught me a lovely lesson. From now on, I’m going to treat everyone as if they were a professor of neurobiology or someone who knows every last thing about trees. There is no such thing as the ordinary or the everyday. Everyone has surprising talents and remarkable character traits and unexpected back-stories. And everyone is more than the daily work they do. 

I think that I knew that in my head, but did not quite feel it in my heart. My subconscious was stuffing complex human beings into neat, reductive boxes. That is not what my father taught me. I know better now. 

28 comments:

  1. Oddly enough, I have a PhD in developmental neurobiology but you'll know from my tweets that I'm a mad idiot and not very nice. Our Tesco delivery drivers are all wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you are very nice! And I'm so happy to hear about the Tesco delivery people.

      Delete
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      Hello i'm so happy sharing this,I still can't thank you enough powerful Priest Ade,My husband left  for a younger lady because i was unable to give birth due to PCOS,I was so devastated i was lonely i cried a lot i even tried taking my life, Then my friend told me about this great man Priest Ade who helped her made her marriage perfect,I also went online and did more research about him i was not too sure but i decided to give him a try he told me not to worry everything was going to be alright,He told me all i needed to pay which was a convenient fee and i did and he did his work and sent me video proof and told me to wait 24hrs that he will be back,The next morning to my greatest surprise it was shawn my husband on his knees begging i'm so happy,It didn't stop there,I'm proud to say that i'm 3 weeks pregnant thank you so much Priest Ade i'm forever grateful  ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com 
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      Hello i'm so happy sharing this,I still can't thank you enough powerful Priest Ade,My husband left  for a younger lady because i was unable to give birth due to PCOS,I was so devastated i was lonely i cried a lot i even tried taking my life, Then my friend told me about this great man Priest Ade who helped her made her marriage perfect,I also went online and did more research about him i was not too sure but i decided to give him a try he told me not to worry everything was going to be alright,He told me all i needed to pay which was a convenient fee and i did and he did his work and sent me video proof and told me to wait 24hrs that he will be back,The next morning to my greatest surprise it was shawn my husband on his knees begging i'm so happy,It didn't stop there,I'm proud to say that i'm 3 weeks pregnant thank you so much Priest Ade i'm forever grateful  ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com 
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    4. Isiyku Abdulahi
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    Https://emutemple.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  18. i am giving this testimony cos l am happy My name is Mrs. Santana Valdez from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Canada in June 28th 2021 this year on a business summit. i meet a man called Dr Zuma zuk.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love's gone, misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job. i'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years. i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him.. at first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com Great Zuma zuk i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you. Email Him Through his email address... spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay...What a powerful man such as Dr Zuma zuk.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com His whatsapp +15068001647

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  19. Are you in bad need of love spell to bring back your ex lover or reunite your marriage? contact Dr frank for fast 15 hours solution. I had a problem with my husband a year and six months ago, which lead us apart. When he broke up with me, I was confuse and did not know what to do to get him back, I felt so empty inside. Until i came across Dr frank on the internet on how He has helped so many people solve there various problem. I emailed Him and I told Him my problem and i did what he asked me to do for him to help me, to briefly make the long story short, Before I knew it, in less than 15 HOURS, my Husband gave me a call and he came back to me and told me he was sorry about what was going on between the both of us. Finally I am writing this testimony to offer my thanks and deep gratitude to you Dr frank for keeping to your words and your promises in bringing him back to me in just 15 hours of your powerful spell casting, and for using your gifted and great powers to bring him back. If you need his help, you can email him at ( drfrankspellcaster@gmail.com ) or add Dr frank on WhatsApp ( +2348132621789 ) or call him get all your problems solve No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him now Linda from united state THANKS TO Dr frank

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  20. BEST URGENT EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL TO GET YOUR EX/HUSBAND/WIFE BACK FAST AND TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE NOW CONTACT LORD ZULU ON WHATSAPP DIRECTLY +1 (424) 361‑7554.

    Hi everyone I’m here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Lord Zulu. I was so confused and devastated when my husband left me without a word, I needed him back desperately because I loved him so much. So a friend of mine introduced me to this powerful spell caster who had helped her in getting her lover back, so I contacted him and he promised that in less than 72 hours he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my husband who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, if you have any relationship problem I will advise you contact him for your testimonies. Below are his contact details. Contact him on WhatsApp @ +1(424)361‑7554.
    BLOGSPOT: allsupremepowersolutionhome.blogspot.com
    EMAIL: Allsupremepowersolutionhome@gmail.com
    WEBSITE; http://allsupremepowersolutionhom.website2.me


    BEST URGENT EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL TO GET YOUR EX/HUSBAND/WIFE BACK FAST AND TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE NOW CONTACT LORD ZULU ON WHATSAPP DIRECTLY +1 (424) 361‑7554.

    Hi everyone I’m here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Lord Zulu. I was so confused and devastated when my husband left me without a word, I needed him back desperately because I loved him so much. So a friend of mine introduced me to this powerful spell caster who had helped her in getting her lover back, so I contacted him and he promised that in less than 72 hours he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my husband who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, if you have any relationship problem I will advise you contact him for your testimonies. Below are his contact details. Contact him on WhatsApp @ +1(424)361‑7554.
    BLOGSPOT: allsupremepowersolutionhome.blogspot.com
    EMAIL: Allsupremepowersolutionhome@gmail.com
    WEBSITE; http://allsupremepowersolutionhom.website2.me


    BEST URGENT EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL TO GET YOUR EX/HUSBAND/WIFE BACK FAST AND TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE NOW CONTACT LORD ZULU ON WHATSAPP DIRECTLY +1 (424) 361‑7554.

    Hi everyone I’m here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Lord Zulu. I was so confused and devastated when my husband left me without a word, I needed him back desperately because I loved him so much. So a friend of mine introduced me to this powerful spell caster who had helped her in getting her lover back, so I contacted him and he promised that in less than 72 hours he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my husband who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, if you have any relationship problem I will advise you contact him for your testimonies. Below are his contact details. Contact him on WhatsApp @ +1(424)361‑7554.
    BLOGSPOT: allsupremepowersolutionhome.blogspot.com
    EMAIL: Allsupremepowersolutionhome@gmail.com
    WEBSITE; http://allsupremepowersolutionhom.website2.me

    ReplyDelete
  21. I really want to thank Dr Emu for saving my marriage. My wife really treated me badly and left home for almost 3 month this got me sick and confused. Then I told my friend about how my wife has changed towards me. Then she told me to contact Dr Emu that he will help me bring back my wife and change her back to a good woman. I never believed in all this but I gave it a try. Dr Emu casted a spell of return of love on her, and my wife came back home for forgiveness and today we are happy again. If you are going through any relationship stress or you want back your Ex or Divorce husband you can contact his whatsapp +2347012841542 or email emutemple@gmail.com website: Https://emutemple.wordpress.com/ Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple-104891335203341

    ReplyDelete

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