Saturday, 25 May 2013

Weekend; or, walking the horse.

I am doing something radical. I am taking the whole weekend off. Even the Bank Holiday. This feels so transgressive that I expect the knock on the door at any moment.

Having made this decision, my entire physiognomy changes. Instead of the usual trying to beat time frown, my face relaxes into a goofy smile. My shoulders come down. I no longer need to ask myself ‘How long will that take?’; I may just do things, without looking at the clock.

I decide to take my horse for a walk. I don’t think this is usual practice, but I adore it. We just amble along, taking in the sights, two old moochers together. I actually think it is quite a good bit of foundational training too. It teaches her to respect my space, and to match my pace and pay attention to me, and it lays good corner-stones of trust. She’s still a bit leery of new places, and I like to take her to them on the ground first. But mostly, it’s just fun.

Off we go, round the block. We see cyclists and hikers and ladies with Dalmatians. Actually only one lady with a Dalmatian. (This always reminds me of my blogging friend Miss Whistle, all the way away in California, as if no one else in the world has a spotted dog.) The sun shines with blinding promise. The sheep do their sheepish thing. The mare is as relaxed as an old hound. I chat to her as if she understands English. She loves a bit of chat.

I think of all the serious horse people: the dressage riders teaching their equines to do flying changes; the jumpers working out the perfect stride for a double; the cross-country experts keeping up fitness as the season roars on. What proper and meaningful goals they all have. Whilst what I mostly like doing is taking my girl for a walk. I think this really may be a case of each to each is what we teach.

 

This is what we saw, on our peregrinations:

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The colours are too absurd to be true, but that really is what it looked like. That’s when I run out of fingers on which to count my luck.

Friday, 24 May 2013

A ray of light

After the horror of Woolwich, something remarkable happened. This week, as part of my work for HorseBack UK, I’ve been following the progress of the Banchory Academy Across Scotland Challenge. The young teenagers have been cycling, walking and canoeing their way across Scotland to raise money for the charity. They are accompanied by a HorseBack team, including two double amputees, who did the canoeing and the biking, using specially modified bicycles. Yesterday afternoon, as the news of Woolwich still disfigured the airways, I went out to meet this group as they charged down the Deeside Way in frigid temperatures and driving rain.

It was like a great big blast of joy. They were so filled with energy and purpose that you could sense it coming off them like smoke.

Later, they settled for the night in an old walled garden not far from where I live. I went up to talk to them and found a group of the funniest, brightest, most articulate, larkishly antic teenagers I’ve ever met. I was tired after what I thought was a long week. They had just travelled about two hundred miles under their own steam, and they were still making jokes, striking poses, teasing each other, and laughing like drains. Although they are doing a fabulous thing, raising thousands of pounds for HorseBack, there was nothing pi or do-goodish about them. They were just exceptionally nice people; authentic, charming, interesting, absolutely themselves.

As I worked at my desk, and the dusk fell, I heard the odd shriek and laugh as they cycled past my window. Even after thirty miles of hard effort that day, in snow and sleet and rain and absolutely bloody freezing temperatures, their energy was undimmed and they still wanted to explore.

This morning, I rode the mare up to see them. They duly admired her, which of course won my heart even more, if such a thing were possible. ‘Oh,’ they said, ‘she’s beautiful.’ She was slightly freaked out, as she had never seen twenty-three mountain bikes gathered together before, but they did not mind. They are all so positive that they seemed to see the best in everything.

HorseBack’s Scott Meenagh, who has seen quite a lot in his life, having been blown up in Afghanistan, said that they restored his faith. All the adults with them were bowled over. Faces shone with admiration and pride. I can’t begin to express what a tonic they were. They were like a shining beacon of goodness and trueness in a sometimes dark world.

Regular readers will know that one of the things that drives me nuts is the lazy idea that infects the media like a nasty virus. The Young People, this tired old assumption goes, are only good for texting and gaming and traducing the English language with their LOLZ and other bizarre acronyms. I’ve never thought this was true. Occasionally, I have a little rant about it. I’ve always believed in The Young People, and now this mighty cohort have come along and proved my point for me. I had to restrain myself from hugging them. (I did fling my arms round most of the HorseBack grown-ups, who stood it manfully.)

I got on with my day, but my mind was filled with these delightful young people. Every so often, I broke out smiling, just at the thought of them. I admit, in my great-auntish way, I feel quite teary about witnessing that amount of sheer loveliness. It was as if they were sent to remind me of all the fine, bright things, at a moment when the news was filled with bleakness.

 

Today’s pictures:

The brilliant adventurers, setting off this morning:

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Scott, on his special bike:

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Having fun last night with Jura the Puppy:

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Out from the beech avenue they come:

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Posing for group pictures. The diagonal arms are a thing:

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My last sight of them:

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And one more of the special bike. Scott rides horses as well. Nothing stops him:

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Meanwhile, back in the garden, everything has suddenly turned green:

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Stanley the Dog, with his socking great stick:

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Red the Glorious, a little dopey after having her teeth done by the very clever vet:

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The hill:

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Thursday, 23 May 2013

Going to extremes.

I try to do work, but my mind keeps going back to Woolwich. It shocks and horrifies in so many ways that the brain feels battered, trying to take it all in. It is, most of all, so un-British. A man ranting on a city street, his hands shining with blood, fanatical hatred in his eyes, his familiar London accent at odds with the extremist platitudes falling from his mouth is not what one expects, in this country.

We are not the nation of warm beer and cricket and maiden ladies cycling to church which John Major once nostalgically conjured up. I’m not sure Britain ever was that, even in the lost age to which Major was clearly harking. Blighty is, however, a battered old warrior, who has been round the block more than once. Extremes have not flourished here, in recent history.

It might have been a wild, untamed place, centuries ago, when the Marcher Lords went untrammelled and kings and their favourites were murdered in unspeakable ways. There were crazed extremes when the country divided into Roundhead and Cavalier. But when Europe was torn with internecine strife in the 19th century, Britain did not join that particular party. There was no 1815, no 1848; no barricades in the streets of London as there were in Paris or Vienna. (Admittedly, the British did protest for specific reasons: they rioted over the unjust Corn Laws, and marched for the Chartists. But these were movements of quite a different kidney.)

Later, in the twentieth century, when the Fascist and Communist movements roiled Europe and Russia, the equivalents of right and left here petered out into damp squibs. The Blackshirts could gain little purchase. The Communist Party of Great Britain was characterised through much of its history by squabbling and swerves in policy, before it finally disbanded.

In its recent history, Britain really does seem to exemplify the middling sort. In contemporary life, there is absolutely nothing to compare to the God, Gays and Guns wing of the Republican party in America. No member of the House of Lords would ever take to the floor to insist that the world was created six thousand years ago and that this should be taught in schools, as has been expressed by august senators. (This is not swishy one-upmanship; Blighty has other weaknesses to American strengths.)

There is, even now, in the sometimes intemperate age of the internet, a sense of restraint, pragmatism, stoicism. The best way to be beloved in Britain is not to be passionate about any cause (this is considered a little too much and dicing with dullness) but to be ironical and self-deprecating. Humorous self-deprecation may be the defining characteristic of ordinary decent Britons. Even in usual conversation, the centre holds; the Goldilocks principle applies. The classic British rejoinder to the polite question of How are you? is Not too bad, thank you.

So what happened yesterday had layers of ramifications to its shock. It was not just an horrific murder in itself; it was The Extreme, walking and talking on a London street. And then, out on the internet, other extremes began to join in. Send them all home (who? where?); time for Britain to grow a backbone; Enoch Powell was right. This last one made me genuinely puzzled. ‘But,’ I said to my mother, ‘the Tiber is clearly not foaming with blood.’ Some of the comments were so vile I do not have the heart to write them down here.

The English Defence League and their cohorts began to join in. There was a strong flavour of Take Our Country Back. From whom was not explicitly stated; the foreign, the other, the in any way different, I could only assume. The irony was that the killer who spoke to the camera was a Briton, born in Romford, whilst the incredibly brave woman who talked calmly to him, as he held his bloody knife, who tried to distract his attention away from vulnerable mothers and children, was not British at all. Are we supposed to send this extraordinary person back too?

Just as I began to despair, to believe that my reading of the British character was all wrong, that perhaps it was the nuts and lunatics and extremes who now held sway, the gentle voice of reason began to assert. People called for calm, begged not to meet hatred with hatred. One man who lived in the neighbourhood said he was just going to get on with his ordinary life, because that was the British way.

It is hard to remain reasonable in the face of such visceral horror. I suppose it is human, in some ways, to want to find a scapegoat, demonise The Other, identify a neat, convenient group to blame. But extrapolation is a dangerous and misleading game. One Muslim does not mean all Muslims. By this warped logic, one might as well say that since 93% of the prison population is male, all men are criminals.

There is also the almost congenital inability to process risk. When something like this happens, there is always a shout for hard-line tactics, the cry to ramp up the war on the terrorists. But in the cool halls of statistics, where fact lives, you are six times more likely to die in your bath than be killed by a fanatical fundamentalist. (Latest figures: annual deaths in bathtubs – 29; averaged annual deaths over the last ten years by terror attacks – 5. Those numbers are from England and Wales; there do not seem to be national figures.) Are we to insist that everyone take showers? That is before one even goes into the big numbers, the ones that run into annual thousands – road deaths, suicides, poisoning, falls.

I think the thing that makes me saddest is that in amidst all the noise, the central tragedy gets lost. There was a brave man who gave honourable service to his country who is no more. He will have family and friends and comrades who mourn him. The ragged shouting voices do not honour their grief or his passing, but merely try to hijack a human loss for their own, frightened purposes.

 

Just one picture today, of these Scottish hills, which always act as consolation for me when the inexplicable happens:

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Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Three good questions

Sometimes I open my mouth and absolute buggery bollocks comes out. I say stupid or careless things; I sometimes even say things I don’t really think or mean. I suppose this is the human condition. I assume that almost everyone except the Dalai Lama does this. But it is one of the flaws I really dislike in myself.

I can’t remember whether I told you or not, but I read something brilliant on the internet the other day. One of the things I like about the internet is that it does carry a lot of wisdom with it. It has a lot of pablum and platitude too, and far too many puppy pictures, even for me, but there are some shining true things. This one went something like: Before you say anything, consider – Is it useful? Is it necessary? Is it kind?

Sometimes I say things which are sheer show-boating. Or things which are pointlessly judgemental. Or things which are self-serving or didactic or unnecessarily Manichean. (Which is odd, because really I believe that most of life is made of shades of grey. Apart from the odd Categorical Imperative.) Sometimes, despite the fact that my polite mother brought me up never to make personal remarks, I make personal remarks.

Of course, one cannot be a perfect pattern citizen at all times. Human frailty cannot be wished away, however strong the wish. But the older I get, the more I think words matter. What is behind the words matters too. Implications matter; dog whistles matter; the thing between the lines matters.

The other day, I read something by Nigel Farage. (I insist on my reading being broad; I purposely get the New Statesman and the Speccie, so I can see what Left and Right are saying. I sometimes have to grit my teeth a bit when I wade through someone whose every word causes my brain to explode, but it must be done.)

Anyway, Mr Farage said he had been out campaigning. It was just before the local elections. He said that in one street, every third person he met could not speak English. He did not elaborate on this, but just let it lie there. Those words could be taken as a simple statement of fact, although I am not convinced of the empiricism of his observation and would like to see his working. But of course they were not a plain statement of fact at all. The unmistakable implication was that dear old Blighty is being over-run by foreigners, pesky immigrants who don’t even have the courtesy to learn the language. There was something bald and unkind in that statement and I wished he had not made it.

The trouble is that if one is constantly policing one’s words, dullness is the only end. To be guarded might be polite, but it means no more jokes and no more irony and no more flashes of the unexpected. I can’t put a border patrol on my mouth; every syllable cannot have its passport stamped.

But I like that idea I found, running around on the steppes of the interweb. I shall still make rash statements and idiotic non-sequiturs; I shall still dash off on tangents and talk bollocks. Nobody’s perfect. But I’m going to bear in mind those three questions. Is it useful? It is necessary? And, most of all – Is it kind?

 

Today’s pictures:

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I have never seen so many dandelions as we have this year. This is sheer bounty for me, as dandelions are one of the best tonics in the world for horses. I am going to harvest them and take them to the herd:

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The very splendid sheep:

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The Remarkable Trainer riding Red the Mare yesterday. Red goes beautifully now in nothing more than her rope halter; willing and responsive, with no wild thought in her head. Afterwards, I got on and rode her without irons and, for a little bit, without reins. Who would have thought such a thing possible a year ago? I am so proud of her I could burst:

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Relaxing:

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The herd:

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Stan the Man, who is being very sweet and bouncy and jolly and affectionate at the moment. He is learning that he need not jump at the horses (he cannot quite decide if they are slightly alarming things to play with or alien creatures to be rounded up) and today, even gave Autumn the Filly a very gentlemanly little lick on her nose:

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The hill:

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See how bosky everything suddenly is? The trees seem to have come into leaf almost overnight. This is what it looked like only last week:

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