Tuesday, 1 June 2010


Posted by Tania Kindersley.

1100 words today, so as usual brain has gone to mush. All I can offer you is fleeting randomness.

The swifts have definitely arrived. I thought I saw some the other day but was not quite certain. This morning I went down to my sister's house, which is where they congregate, and there they all were, soaring and swooping and generally showing off their astounding aeronautics. Did I mention before that swifts sleep and mate on the wing? It can't be mentioned enough, in my opinion.

A day of admin and logistics. I am useless at getting practical things done, and sometimes actually feel real terror when I know there are vital matters to be arranged. Today, the wagon of procrastination crashed into the brick wall of reality (or impending bailiffs) so I had to sit down and pick up the telephone. And here is the amazing thing, like a sign or a portent: every single person I spoke to could not have been more charming or helpful or non-judgemental. They all accepted my halting apologies, made my various requests appear to be pure pleasure for them, even laughed at my jokes. I wanted to send them all flowers. Everyone, from oil delivery man to credit card company person to car insurance agent acted as if they had been put on earth to meet my every whim. I put down the telephone quite astonished. Do they not know we are mired in recession and there is about to be fighting in the streets? Do they not know that they are British, and supposed to be diffident and mildly unhelpful? I start to wonder if the whole day was a dream.

My mother has a lovely guest from the south. The weather today was grey and flat and doggedly unbeautiful, and I was growing sad, as I always want Scotland to put on her pomp for our southern visitors. Then, just after five, like a magic trick, the clouds vanished and the evening sun came dancing in. The evening light at this time of year is thick yellow ancient light, as if we have been transported to Verona. It was the first thing I noticed when I moved from England, and it never ceases to delight me.

This is to give you some idea of what it looks like:




PS. Very special thanks for the exceptionally lovely comments on yesterday's post. Fingers too crabbed now to reply to each, but they made me smile and blush. And a huge fat Scottish welcome to my enchanting new readers. I can't tell you how happy it makes me when people find their way here and take the time to write something. Thank you, thank you.


  1. I have to say I really admire the way you keep up the momentum with the blog posts, especially when you are also writing a book. I am so glad you do though, because they are always a joy to read! xxx

  2. Hi Tania,
    A friend of mine committed suicide this week, and it came as a terrible shock and sorrow. I right away felt like rereading the book of yours where there is the scene with leaving red shoes behind on the bridge. It's been ages ago, I red it, and I only vaguely remember that it must have been a book of yours, so sorry if I am wrong. If it is, could you remind me the title of it as I feel I need to read it, can not even tell why, as it is only a feeling that something resonates here that will help my cry. I hope your upcoming book is in the honesty of the old ones that have given me so much. All the best, and keep up the good work.

  3. Ruthie Jay - thank you so much. Comments like yours make it worth it.

    Marianna - I am so terribly sorry to hear your horrible news. I have some experience of this, so know a little of what you must be feeling. Words are poor things in such a situation; the only thing I would say is don't be surprised if you experience quite unexpected and disturbing emotions. It is not a straightforward sorrow. (I had both guilt, and rage.) I am thinking of you.

    The book you are thinking of is Don't Ask Me Why.

    I know the thing of needing help to cry, and the tears must come out. Very sad films are quite helpful in this regard. The ones that always make me weep are The Killing Fields, Cry Freedom, Hotel Rwanda for serious sorrow and pity, or there are straightforward romantic weepies like Out of Africa and The Way We Were. Hope this is of some help.

  4. Tania, thank you very, very much. Even your reply is met with tears. Will follow up. Thank you, Marianna


Your comments give me great delight, so please do leave one.


Blog Widget by LinkWithin