On the drive home, I had such glorious ideas for a New, Improved Blog. Oh, it was going to be a thing of beauty and a joy forever. I smiled as I swung the car through the wild spaces of Glenshee, thinking of what treats I had in store for you.
Then, reality bit.
I am, as always after time away, cantering about, trying to get back into the rhythm of my days, ordering horses, family, work, HorseBack, Stanly the Manly, and the necessary domestic tasks which must be done to keep my life on track. As always, my logistical skills and my time management are sorely lacking.
I cannot remember now what it was that was going to improve the dear old blog. The mantra in my head says: try harder, work better, write sharper. I think there was a vague idea that I was going to give you not only dancing prose, but some DEEP THOUGHTS. I am actually laughing out loud as I write that sentence. Stanley, who was dozing, looks up in astonishment. He knows my limitations, and forgives them, because he is a very nice dog.
As it is, I write this just as I usually do, in the middle of all the other demands of my day. I write it, as I usually do, about forty minutes behind, chasing time as my sweet lurcher chases his tail. I write it, as I usually do, in the lurching hope that something brilliant will come to me, so that you might sit up and smile and say hot damn. As the words come out, that singing hope settles into ordinary acceptance: no prizes today.
But now, as I rue the lost brilliance with which I was going to dazzle you, I think: that is all right. It’s like me, this blog. It’s a little bit good and a little bit bad. It’s a little bit muddly, and a little bit goofy, and a little bit scruffy. In middle age, I wave a cheerful goodbye to dreams of diamond perfection, and accept the fact that sometimes good enough is good enough. I’ll keep on trying, because I believe in trying, and I love the triers of the world. But not everything has to be fabulous. Some things can just be what they are: ordinary, human, flawed.
Glenshee, on the way home:
One of my favourite of the HorseBack mares, at work this morning:
I could watch this gentleman all day long. Even though this is an ordinary blog for an ordinary day, anything which has Robert Gonzales in it has a little sprinkle of stardust:
Here’s another one of my favourites – KayCee, a mighty chestnut mare, having a little bit of a rodeo moment as she comes back into work after a long winter break:
And then, having got the twinkles out of her toes, she remembered that she is a very lovely person and hooked on to her novice human like an absolute sweetheart, and even did a glorious posing photograph face for me:
Very, very happy to see these two dear friends again, muddy and moochy and at peace:
And they kindly did a good pose too:
I generally bang on about the goodness of keeping horses out in the field. They are flight animals after all, and herd animals, and they like to move their feet. But after I spent half an hour brushing the mud off the red mare this morning in a vain attempt to make her look respectable, only to watch her have a huge, indulgent roll right at my feet the moment I put her back in the paddock, so that she was caked from ear to toe in black Scottish earth, I did suddenly understand why some people like a stable.
She gave me such a look after the roll. Ha, she was saying, it’s a spa day and mud packs are good for the skin. Well, she was saying, let’s see you try to get that off in the morning. I swear she rolled her eyes at my puny human plan.
Goodness, I’ve missed her.