After yesterday’s horrors, I wake this
morning in a different frame of mind. The sun is shining and I walk the dogs
down to the burn. Scotland glimmers and gleams in the light. ‘Well,’ I think,
slightly hilarious, ‘if this ship is sinking at least we shall go down
singing.’
A kind man in the village does something for me
which makes my life very, very much easier. Not only that, but he speaks
generous words of sympathy and understanding. I stand, rather overwhelmed by
his goodness, in his little shop in my gumboots and my hat and my muddy coat,
listening to his words of wisdom.
‘Thank you,’ I say about five times, overcome
with gratitude.
Down at the Co-op, a small boy is helping his
grandmother with her shopping. He is perhaps eleven. He is wreathed in smiles,
as if helping the old lady is all he wants to do in the world. I buy courgettes
for soup and as I get to the car, I hurl them accidentally to the ground. I
fiddle about with the keys and a voice behind me says: ‘Here you are.’
A smiling lady has picked the things up and
is handing them to me. I am even more overwhelmed. Is the universe just sending
me loveliness today, because it can? ‘That is so sweet of you,’ I cry. ‘Thank
you so much.’ We beam at each other, as if we have a secret compact.
Back at the house, the lovely man from
Scottish Fuels has arrived, despite his hectic schedule. ‘We might not be able
to get to you till Monday,’ they had said, and I had resigned myself to a
freezing weekend. ‘Oh, oh, oh,’ I warble, my voice now entirely out of control.
‘You came. That is so, so good of
you.’
He too smiles. Everyone today is smiling at
me. ‘Not a problem,’ he says, cheerfully. He looks at my three jumpers and my
hat and my boots and smiles even more. ‘Now you can take the jumpers off,’ he
says. I am quite bored of sitting at my desk in my hat and my boots and my
three jumpers. ‘Yes,’ I cry, ‘I really can. All thanks to you.’
The horses are happy in the sun and my kind
friend has done all the hard work, putting out the haynets and filling up the
frozen water trough. It is as if dear elves have come in the night and fixed
everything up, so all I have to do is stand with the magnificent creatures and
do the love. The little brown mare in particular wants the love, and when I
turn to go, she follows me, to get some more. I give her more. There is no end
to the love.
I work and work and work. Yesterday, I felt
as if I were getting nowhere and that all the words were pointless. Today, the
sentences made me smile and some of them were even quite good.
And then, as I pass the side door, I see a
small package that has fallen behind a chair. A friend has sent me a proof copy
of her book. ‘Oh,’ I say, to Stanley the Dog, who was hoping it was Bonios. ‘Just
look at that.’
I’ll just read the first page, I think. Just
a quick peek. Ten minutes later, I am conscious of a slight crick in my neck. I
look up. I have read twenty-two pages, standing in the hall, my head bent in
concentration and delight. It’s a beautiful book, funny and fascinating and
true. It’s the real thing. And this good writer went to the trouble to send it.
So much goodness and kindness, I think, in a haze.
Yesterday, everything went to hell. Today,
everything went to heaven. I still don’t really know how or why that happens.
All I do know is that I feel very, very glad, and soothed to my soul. On we bugger,
the dear equines and the dancing dogs and I, up and down and round the houses,
sometimes on a stormy sea, sometimes over a ravishing calm. This dear old ship
is a bit creaky, and it sometimes leaks, and it is not in its first flush of
newness and youth, but it does keep sailing on.
Glad your day was better :)
ReplyDeleteSome days is good, some days is bad - without the bad we don't appreciate the good - that's just the way life goes.
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