Posted by Tania Kindersley.
Lovely weekend. Very, very old friends. Lots of children. Lots of laughter. No riding because of weather; this morning there was sudden sleet and pouring rain. Later, the sun came out, I took the Pigeon up to see the chestnut mare in the field.
Suddenly, violently, in amidst all the happiness and jokes, I missed my dad so much I could hardly speak. It's coming up to Cheltenham, I suppose. Perhaps it's just what happens. The gaps between the acute missing widen; there is room for other things, there is a place for joy. When it comes though, it is still a blow at the heart.
A few pictures for you. More flowers, from my Constance Spry moment:
The flowers outside, in the earth:
The mare:
Middle cousin, with dogs. Face bleached as usual, for privacy, but I did want to show you the Look of Love which the Pigeon, on the left, is bestowing. She adores that child. She follows her gently and patiently about the house. Occasionally, the small cousin stops what she is doing, turns, and gives the very old dog a hug. 'Oh, Pigeon-Face,' I hear her say, with a crooning, dying fall. That sort of breaks my heart, too:
And Herself, looking at her most regal. Perhaps she is getting ready for the Jubilee:
I do sometimes wonder what she is thinking, in her doggy old head, when she makes that face. I like to think it's a bit of a Look of Love. Mostly, I think it is likely that she is really saying Where, oh where, is my BISCUIT? (And: if I look regally yearny enough, will you just give it to me?)
The flowers look beautiful - as does the face of the darling Pidge. :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes being amongst old friends and family can bring emotions that would normally be tucked away to the surface. And then, as my daughter would say, BAM! everything gets messy. Not very subtle but what I'm trying to say is that it is very understandable. Do take care xx
Beautiful flowers with all the colors! I love a house filled with family and friends. It can be so comforting but at the same time can make us greatly miss the departed. Pigeon brings a smile to my face ~ her expressive eyes are incredible! Take care. ~Tammy
ReplyDeleteYour flowers look so good that they almost look artificial! They are really incredible.
ReplyDeletei sometimes think the presence of some underlines the absence of others. it's wordsworth, innit, surprised by joy and turning to share the transport of your wotsit and suddenly minding the gap - slight paraphrase but doubtless you'll know what i mean...and suddenly there they are, the cathedral doors to your grief, as big and overwhelming as they ever were, threatening to unleash the mayhem. i like to think i have perfected the art of the strategic blub, short and sharp but i generally feel all the better for having acknowledged it. it has taken a considerable while to learn how to deal with it (death of a beloved sister 5 years ago) and am still learning in truth. be gentle with yourself and that core of grief. it is just a hard, messy business, mostly.
ReplyDeleteOh what beautiful flowers! Pigeon looks just so wise and kind in all your pics that I want to give her a gentle virtual hug each time I see that face.
ReplyDeleteHave a good week.
Why is it that grief is worst when you're thinking of beautiful things and happy times? Wonder if it's just the pure desire to share those special things with the one departed ...
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, the first time is almost assuredly the worst. You may miss him fiercely around Cheltenham for the rest of your life, but perhaps, sometime, that might become a blessing ... a time when you know it almost will be like he is in the air nearby.
Bird