Friday 4 July 2014

There is a road.

Years ago, a friend and I sat down to write a screenplay together. That was the kind of thing we did in our bold twenties, when we did not understand how the world worked and the word no had little meaning for us. He was an actor and I was a novelist and we would write a brilliant film and make our fortunes and Working Title would be banging down our doors for more. That was the plan.

Of course the thing went absolutely nowhere, but we had a blast doing it, and we mostly sat in his tiny upstairs room in Peckham and laughed and laughed and laughed. I adored him, and still do, even though I now mostly see him on actual television. In the process, we invented lots of catchphrases and in-jokes, the origin of which I cannot remember. For some forgotten reason, the phrase ‘there is no road’ reduced us to hysterics. We repeated it to each other in sonorous voices and fell off our chairs. There must have been a context which made it funny, but I can’t recall it. Anyway, the line stuck in my head, and I can still hear it now, as if it were yesterday instead of twenty-five years ago.

Sometimes, there is no road is not so funny. Sometimes, I feel like I have run out of road, or crashed off it, or can’t find it in the dark. Once, I drove through Glenshee in a sudden snowstorm, and the road did literally disappear before my eyes. I at last realised what those odd metal poles were for. When everything is white, you have to navigate from pole to pole, and pray the engine does not seize up.

Three years ago, I lost the road. There were things beyond my control which induced a catastrophic career crash. I did not talk about it much or write about it here, because I didn’t want to whinge or complain or be a bore. It happens to everyone, one way or another. I was not special. It was emotionally and professionally difficult, and I had to grit my damn teeth and bugger on like I’d never buggered before.

That was what all the secret projects were about. I had to come back. I had to do something else. I had to produce. I was out of contract and on spec, almost as if I were starting all over again. The only advantage I had was that I now knew how to carry a tune. I could write a decent sentence at least; I knew how to craft a paragraph. But still, a whole book carried its old challenges. I’m fairly good at the prose side of things, but structure and tension and narrative and pace are as hard as they ever were.

On I bashed, hoping, hoping, fearing, dreading. What if it were all for nothing? What if it were no good? What if this new road was a mere figment?

I just spoke to my agent. Good, good, good. Both of the secret projects are a go. Bloody Thunderbirds are go. I now appear to be writing two books which she thinks are viable entities that may one day exist in the world. I cannot express to you what this feels like. It is terrifying and galvanising and liberating and almost unbelievable. (At least, I think, as I write these words, I have not grown jaded and blasé with age.) I have to work like a crazy person to my new deadline of the 15th September, and then, perhaps, with a little luck and the light coming in the right direction there may be a contract, and I shall be back.

There is a road.

4 July 1

11 comments:

  1. Tania, I am so pleased for you, that is amazing news. I find it really hard to understand the previous crash because you are one of those writers who just make words sing but, without being too "hello flowers" about it, I suppose at least it gave you time to find Red and work with her. And hurrah for Peckham (I'm a temporarily ex-resident).

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  2. I am glad there is a road. And I'm glad you found it. When I find it, I will be thrilled as well. 8-) Millions of people have been able to write books and find agents and get published... I suppose they all just figured it out on their own. I would like to do the same (story is already written) but no one seems to be able to tell me how to go about getting an agent, or what the first step is after writing. Maybe it's because people who did things on their own feel that other people should have to go through the same process? Thing is, I'm a hard worker and willing to do whatever I need to - I just don't know what the next task is supposed to be. When I ask, I get the feeling that people think I want things handed to me on a silver platter. Which is not the case at all. I just don't know what to do, or where to start. Even websites that purportedly give advice on this topic don't really give any useful advice. Not sure why. I will keep asking until I find someone able (and willing) to give me directions to the road.

    As for your crash and subsequent rallying, it's always that way with art, isn't it? The best songs are written by songwriters who are miserable. Happy people don't write good songs... or good books, I think. It's the crashing that stirs the creativity. Happy is nice, but boring. The biggest blockbuster movies are about hardships and disasters overcome by the main characters. No one would pay to watch a movie or read a book about a guy that gets up in the morning, kisses his wife and kids, goes to work at his successful career, comes home and pops open a beer and watches a baseball game in which his team wins, eats a delicious homemade dinner, and goes to bed and sleeps peacefully. They just wouldn't.

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    1. Dear Marcheline - I'm not sure how it works where you are. In Britain, there is a book called The Writers' and Artists' Yearbook which has all the practical information about agents and publishers. I wonder if you might be able to find an equivalent? The rule is: always approach an agent first. You need to research which agent deals with what you are writing - some, for instance, don't take children's books or specialise in non-fiction. You also need to decide whether you want a big agency like William Morris, where you will be a small fish in a big pond, or go for an independent, who might not have so much clout but will give you much more personal attention. Once you have decided who you want to approach, write a summary of your book, no more than a page or two, a charming covering letter, and enclose the first three chapters. Make sure it is double-spaced, and proof-read within an inch of its life. One apostrophe in the wrong place will immediately make you seem less professional. Then have a huge gin and tonic. Really, really good luck. Let me know how you get on. xx

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    2. T - Thank you so much for your kind reply! I am going to buy that Writers' and Artists' Yearbook, even if it is a UK book. Wondering if UK agents only represent UK writers? I'm fairly sure that some UK actors have US agents and vice versa... wonder if that's true for writers as well? Will have to delve deeper.

      P.S. What's your opinion on self-publishing (like LULU and etc.)?

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  3. I don't know why but that Sheryl Crow song "Everything is a Winding Road" just popped into my head....

    TWO books! WOW! Simply WOW! Congratulations!!!!!

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  4. Fantastic news Tania. I am delighted for you.

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  5. Tania... I just had to share a Cosmic Answer that happened to me yesterday after I left my first comment on your blog. I had gone downstairs and had a rather unsatisfying conversation with my husband on the same topic of trying to figure out how to get to the next level with my writing... but then I had to go to work.

    As I left the house, I remembered that I didn't have anything to read in my work bag (there are periods of slow or no action in my job and we are allowed to read during those slumps). There were two library books sitting on my stair that I had intended to read during my summer break, but didn't get to (I did read the other four, though...). One of these was "Dark Aemelia" by Sally O'Reilly. I grabbed it, shoved it in my bag, and went to work.

    At work, as it was the 4th of July, it was sloooooow - so I started to read. I was really, really loving this book. Something she wrote made me want to look her up online, see what else she'd done - and guess what she's published? A book called "How To Be A Writer: The definitive guide to getting published and making a living from writing."

    I nearly fell off my chair. Here I'd been asking a question, out loud and to all the world, and within two hours here was an in-my-face answer! Ms. O'Reilly also has a blog by the same name, which I read from beginning to present posts.

    Since I aired my question on your blog, I thought I should share my answer too. Have ordered her book, and am very excited to see if it delivers the stuff I've been looking for!

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    Replies
    1. Just saw this. Brilliant news. It sounds like exactly what you need. Good old universe for sending it. :)

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  6. Do I hear resonance between Thunderbirds and Goodbye, Johnny Thunders? Please, say yes, I am so hopeful, I loved it.

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  7. Congratulations - you deserve it! Your blog is one of my favourites; your pieces always resonate with me...there is so much heart in your writing...

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