Posted by Tania Kindersley.
In bed again, still feeling very weak and cross. But you must have the hill because that has become some kind of inexplicable imperative, so I stumped outside in my pyjamas and took today's view. Very odd that when one decides to do things like this, the idea that a single day might be missed invalidates the ENTIRE PROJECT. This is madly stupid. First of all, it is really only for my own pleasure and interest, although some of you are kind enough to admire the lovely hill. Second of all, what does it matter at the end of a year if there are 364 pictures instead of 365?
When I say 'one' of course I mean ME. The element of obsessiveness that lives in me is mostly under control. I do not do OCD or anything like that. There is no counting. But there is slightly more magical thinking than I would like, for someone who prides themselves on reason and rationality.
That's my flaky thought for the day, because mostly my head is fogged up with bug and so there is no thinking.
I would like to say something about the sadness in Arizona, but this is not the time. I think about it quite a lot, while everyone else is shouting. (Oh my God, the shouting; could there not be one moment of still?) It's turned into a culture war already, which I suppose was inevitable, and there is a weird level of 'you said it first, no you did', as if this were a schoolyard game instead of the end of six lives. Mostly I think: why is it considered a good thing that people can go into shops and buy automatic weapons? Why would anyone think that guns becoming part of a culture is ever useful or lovely?