Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Say The Thing

Posted by Tania Kindersley.

I’m always bashing on about saying The Thing. I do not always follow my own advice. There was something I was struggling with yesterday, and, in the dark spaces of my own mind, I had blown it up into something big and difficult and complicated. There was a serious conversation that had to be had, but I did not especially want to have it.

Today, I had it. It was fine.

I said my thing. The other person said her thing. We came to amicable resolution. (I’m not being abstruse, it’s just the details are too boring to go into.)

It’s a principle thing, really, which is also why details are not important. I always, always forget, no matter how much I know this on paper, that the thing which takes on a terrifying, looming aspect in my crazy head, almost inevitably unknots itself as easily as silk ribbon once I actually do the talking.

It’s just sometimes I don’t want to do the talking. Sometimes I wish people would know my thoughts by osmosis. This is unrealistic and silly, and I must stop it. It’s just life, after all; it’s what everyone has to do.

So, this morning I woke still feeling grungy and furious. Now, as the light fades, and the moon rises outside my window, I feel light and hopeful. The conversation was to do with work, and the work that must be done is still serious and challenging, but the tight, internal worry has dissipated.

Say The Thing; Say The Thing. It’s so important I am writing it twice.

The Man of Letters leaves a message on my machine. ‘What is all this gloom business?’ he asks. I sometimes forget that he reads this blog. It makes me smile that he does. He is very busy with Letters, after all.

‘But I do notice your readers are rallying round,’ he adds. Do I hear a slight air of wistfulness in his voice? He writes a column in a paper, and so has to deal with the Green Ink brigade, who are often cross and accusatory, and have a hair-trigger tendency to take things the wrong way. My Dear Readers, I think, proudly, never take things the wrong way. And damn well do rally round. Which, just at the moment, feels like a wonderfully good deed in a very naughty world.


Now for your pictures of the day:

6 Dec 1 06-12-2011 14-55-18

On our walk, I look up, and see an aeroplane describing a perfect curve high in the air. As always, I wonder where it is going:

6 Dec 2 06-12-2011 14-56-06

6 Dec 3 06-12-2011 15-05-09

I fear you may have the beech avenue every day at the moment, because it is looking so magical:

6 Dec 4 06-12-2011 15-05-32

6 Dec 5 06-12-2011 15-05-47

6 Dec 6 06-12-2011 15-06-10

A glorious coo, lit by the golden afternoon light:

6 Dec 7 06-12-2011 15-06-24

6 Dec 8 06-12-2011 15-07-20

The Pigeon, crazily eating the snow as if it were ice-cream:


And the absurdly adorable face afterwards, with the snow on the nose, which makes me laugh every time:

6 Dec 14 06-12-2011 15-02-14

Two hills today, one from wide angle, one from my front door:

6 Dec 15 06-12-2011 14-57-16

6 Dec 16 05-12-2011 15-37-31.ORF

Thank you for yesterday. You are very splendid rallying readers, and a reassuring reminder that we all have our shitty days.


  1. I do so adore the beech avenue in snow... Would it be silly to say I've been looking forward to your winter photos all year?
    Glorious golden coo ;) and snowy nosed Pidge.

  2. LOL. Dear readers are all very well, but the critical asset is The Pigeon. ;-))


  3. As my daughter would say, 'A.Dorrrrable'! The snow on Pigeon's nose is too sweet.

    So glad you confronted The Thing. Now, please could you pop over here and confront mine...

  4. Tania, your photos are wonderful, I am particulary envious of one aeroplane in the sky. This morning, at 5.50 I counted 13 sets of lights all visible at the same time! Who would chose to live under the Heathrow flight path, even in Richmond?

  5. See, you "pay it forward". By posting photos of the Pidge, you are cheering us up first, so we really cannot help but cheer you up right back, can we?

    Your advice, Say The Thing, is somewhat like my advice: Just Do It. Yeah, I know, Nike's ad campaign... but it's actually a deep cosmic truth nonetheless.

  6. I feel privileged to be one of your Dear Readers, and I'm glad that you feel proud of us. Also, I would be very happy to see the beech avenue each and every day. It is truly magical.

  7. As my very, very wise sister (The Pink Bicycle) would say, always, always (sorry about the duplication but I don't know how to make this sound as important as it should be) says, ask yourself "What would Love do/say?"
    It is of no consequence what the issue is. Just ask "How would Love handle this?" and presto the answer.
    As the dearest-darling Maya Angelou says "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
    Love your Pigeon!

  8. I'm so glad you have dealt with your Thing.

    I've been avoiding my Thing for the last few days. I read through parts of Backwards last night for a dose of your good advice, and this morning woke to your lovely words on The Thing. They have given me the courage and perspective, which always fly out the window at these times, to start tackling my Thing head on. So thank you, thank you.

    Snow nosed Pigeon is far too sweet for words. Everytime I think she cannot be any more adorable, she trumps again.

  9. I thought I was the only one who was nuts enough to imagine where people are going. I do this at airports specially big ones like Changi!!! you see all races, all nations in the space of five minutes.

    The photos of Pigeon are gorgeous. I have a heavy day today - afternoon is a Christmas party for the children in the Home. Till all the presents are given and everyone is happy I am a bit tense!!

  10. These photos are stunning. I always think the last batch of photos can't be beaten and then you outdo yourself.

    What is it that is so appealing about a beautiful black dog in the snow?

    Thank you

  11. Beautiful Pigeon and I am kind of in love with the beech avenue :)

    Glad The Thing went well.

  12. I too love Maya Angelou (that phenomenal woman!). However, I have just had the experience of deeply offending and hurting someone by how I was being. What I thought was being loving and supportive was taken as indifference.
    It has been a real shock and also an eye-opener to the importance of being honest and speaking up/ out from that place. If I'm true to myself, then how others perceive/ receive it is NOT my problem (and I'm not talking about being brutal. I like that Native American saying: "Always speak the truth but only about the good in everyone.").
    Tania, I take heart from your tackling your Thing. Thank you.

  13. These are some of my favourite phots yet. And Say the Thing (and do the thing) have become things I live by too.

  14. The pictures are glorious. Thank you so much for sharing them.


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