Thursday 1 July 2010

Randomness, redux

Posted by Tania Kindersley.

Coherent thought is scattered to the four winds, so today is a return to the randomness. You were all so kind about it last time.

1. Yesterday, for a work thing, I got to talk to a blogger I admire, In Real Life. IRL, baby. I was in a state of high excitement. I fear I may have babbled. Blogging is such a paradoxically intimate medium that I start to regard the bloggers I read regularly as people I actually know. As a result, I wasted no time on small talk, but went straight to personal revelation. It was nought to sixty in seven seconds. I think I might have over-shared. I had mild angst afterwards, but it was such a pleasure to put a voice to the writing, and she could not have been kinder as I waffled on.

 

2. A few days ago, my neighbour very kindly found a gentleman to buy my battered old motor. It had over a hundred thousand miles on the clock, a suspicion of rust, and a torn skirt, due to the fact that I drove it over a large rock down by the Spey by mistake. (Even though it was a saloon, I treated it like a landrover, and thought nothing of taking it across fields and over rutted tracks.) Also, the steering wheel started to vibrate when it went over forty miles an hour. It had done me yeoman's service, but I feared no one would want it in such condition. It turned out, by a miracle, that the nice fellow from the next village north adored old cars, and knew how to fix them, so there was cash in hand and a great deal of mutual delight.

I wanted to buy my neighbour a nice bottle of vodka, his chosen drink, as a thank you, so I went down to the shop.

'What have you got that is special?' I said to the young man behind the counter.

'Is it for a lady?' he said.

'No, a man,' I said. 'But why do you ask?'

'Well,' he said. 'There is this pink vodka, specially for women.'

I paused to put my feminist hat on. The young man was smiling, proffering the ghastly bottle, with no idea what he had unleashed.

'Pink?' I said, in the manner of Lady Bracknell. 'PINK?'

'It's for the ladies,' he said, still not quite understanding.

'Oh yes,' I said. 'Because we are all biologically programmed to like pink, every last one of us. That really is the way to get my money; patronise me until my ears fall off.'

'It's called Pinky,' he said, helpfully. He was laughing now, I could not tell whether because he thought me funny, or was in an advanced state of terror.

'Do women actually fall for that?' I said.

'I think some do,' he said.

'It's a betrayal of the sisterhood,' I said, furiously.

Luckily I found some delightful Polish Bison grass vodka, in a very chic bottle, to take my mind off it.

'You've got to love the Poles,' I said.

'Yes,' said the young man. 'You do.' He seemed very relieved that I had stopped shouting.

But really: PINK vodka for the ladies. I'd like to have been present at that development meeting.

 

3. It astonishes me what a difference planting a plant makes. I put in some astrantias and roses and salvias yesterday. They looked perfectly fine in their pots, but after only one day in the actual ground they have stretched and unfurled and luxuriated. Their leaves are greener and their flowers more vivid. I have pretty good soil; lots of fat, happy worms, always a good sign. But I did not feed them, or put on compost or bone meal; I just dug them into the ground and gave them some water and now they look as if they are in the plant equivalent of a five star resort.

 

4. I am slightly alarmed that it is July. I am still secretly convinced it is actually the end of May.

 

5. Sarah went to interview a man called Carlos Acosta yesterday. I wondered why she was interviewing a footballer. It turns out he is a very famous ballet dancer, and every woman in Britain except for me knows about him, because he is the sexy sex in human form. Apparently women actually squeal when they hear his name. If they can put down their pink vodka for a moment, that is. I can't work out how embarrassed I should be that I have absolutely no idea who he is.

 

I'm afraid the pictures of the day are all canine, all the time, because there was some lovely sun yesterday, and my old ladies looked so gorgeous in it, that I cannot resist:

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And here is a bonus shot of my favourite new flower, in honour of Miss Gertrude Stein, who said: 'a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose'. No one may ever have said a truer thing.

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Did you ever see anything more perfect? I can hardly believe it is real.

Have a happy random First of July.

13 comments:

  1. It is as well that I have an unscheduled day of working at home, for the concept of the ladies putting down their pink vodka to squeal at the mention of Carlos Acosta made me squeal with laughter and delight :-)
    Pink vodka? I can't possibly improve on what you have said on the subject, but really? "Oh, they like the pink wine, let's give them pink spirits too". I despair.

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  2. Hello Tania :)

    I loved reading this, you made me laugh out loud....and snort - at the pink vodka part. Or should I say "PINK VODKA!!??"....who in their right minds would purchase such a thing....ugh.

    I would like to confess that I do know who Carlos Acosta is and can even picture him....but for a split second I too thought he was a footballer, I blame the World Cup.

    Can you believe that I have never planted anything...at all? Unless you count the daffodils bulbs we used to be given at primary junior which would be stuck in a drawer at home and then hurriedly planted about 10 days before they needed to be taken into school....no colour winning certificates for my brothers and I, only black and white "good effort" ones :)

    Thanks for making me smile - and I loved the visual of driving your "LandRover" :)

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  3. Mona and Simone - how lovely you both are. You could not have paid a higher compliment. I always worry that I get either earnest and ranty on the blog, or impossibly wafty - oh, look, there's a flower, there's a dog, there's another dog...

    So the fact I made you laugh makes ME smile, all over my face. Thank you.

    Also, vv glad you agree about the madness of pink vodka. Still chuntering until my breath like Mutley.

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  4. PINK vodka? Oh dear god! As if pink champagne (both girly-hued and overrated) and the current trend for rose wine (the ultimate cop-out) wasn't enough!!

    At least I know that I'm not the only fully functional female that reallly can't stand the colour - thanks to you and a few worthy others.

    For most of my adult life I have been made to feel suspiciously butch for my aversion to all things blushed-tinted and my insistence that my brain is actually functional and in better working order than - gasp - some menfolk.

    PINK vodka? Eurgh! Ir may be 'pretty' but I bet it taste like watered down crap...

    (For the record, however, my hatred of pink does not extend to flowers - your rose is absolutely stunning!)

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  5. Don't worry about your blog - it's always interesting, and the photos too. The pink vodka sounds like a modern version of Babycham, which was popular in the 1960s (I only ever tried one glass - yuk!). The team who developed pink vodka may have been on to a good thing - there's so much pink around at the moment. Small girls are often arrayed in pink flowered skirts and pink tops; ditto stout matrons... But the fashion will end, hopefully soon.

    Carlos Acosta wanted to be a footballer but, as far as I remember reading, his parents forced him to go to ballet school to avoid street life and drugs, and luckily he took to ballet. He's a wonderful dancer: I saw (on TV a few years ago) his performance as Romeo with Tamara Rojo as Juliet - he's a combination of brilliant dancer and good actor.

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  6. PS Am still smiling about Carlos Acosta "being the sexy sex in human form"......what a brilliant description!!

    I shall have to use that myself, in my head of course :)

    I so enjoyed today's that I just re-read it....thank you :)

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  7. I'm stitting at my desk NOT working and fretting about getting on with it... and I read your gorgeous post. It had an instant calming effect on me. Even the pink vodka! And, of course, your girls. Thank you x

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  8. Give me the dogs any day over anything else!

    Even in faraway Sri Lanka, I had heard of Carlos Acosta!!! (and I am old!)

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  9. I love your random posts! Pink vodka sounds hideous. One of my favourite drinks is bison grass vodka with apple juice, I'm sure your neighbour will be delighted. Your post has reminded me that my dad told me a week ago on the telephone that my plants in pots would fare much better in the ground... must do that! Your rose is absolutely stunning xx

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  10. She Means Well - so with you on the pink thing. I used to resist even pink flowers, although I now quite like some varieties. The annoying thing about that rose is it is actually the deepest scarlet, but I am having trouble getting the new camera to record colours as they actually are. I tray all different settings but sometimes cannot quite achieve a true image. Still learning on the job.

    Vivien - fascinating about Carlos Acosta, thank you.

    Simone - RE-READING posts is absolute number one highest accolade. I blush with gratitude.

    Jane - such a very nice thing to say, thank you.

    Mystica - so pleased you appreciate the canines. Although I am not sure you should be encouraging me...

    Christina - so pleased you like the randomness. There is a little blogging voice in my head that says I must always have a proper subject, but the book is taking so much out of me that you may have noticed that is not happening at all, lately. Lucky my readers are so generous and forbearing.

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  11. Now Tania, I would definitely buy that pink vodka (& drink it if the taste was as nice as Grey Goose). My dogs, too, are lying in the grass, rolling around, sunning...and I smile because it's so sweet & so normal. They are happy. xx's

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  12. Splenderosa - I too am a tremendous Grey Goose fan; can't BELIEVE the pink stuff would measure up. So pleased to hear about happy, sunny canines all the over in Texas.

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  13. Tania - I am in catch-up mode; I fear I have neglected you in recent weeks! I too am secretly convinced it is the end of May! How can it be July? I have been neck-deep in a work project that has sapped everything from me so I am now rather weakly trying to regain some normality! You know - talking to my children, noticing the plants need watering, having food in the fridge! :-) The picture of the rose is divine - my all time favourite flower!

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