Tuesday, 10 May 2011

The Love and the Beauty

Posted by Tania Kindersley.

I have breakfast with the lovely Stepfather and the Mother. They make me bacon and tomatoes, coffee black as pitch, and toast with homemade marmalade. I tell them I have no time just now for small, petty emotions.

'I am a utilitarian,' I say. 'I can't be doing with anything at the moment which has no utility. Those endless conversations where people get cross about something that does not really matter at all.'

They nod, possibly slightly startled by this outburst, too polite to show it.

I say, a little too loud: 'We are all going to die, so everybody had better sharpen up.'

The Stepfather laughs.

'That's not bad,' he says.

I laugh back at him. 'I'm going to put it on a t-shirt,' I say.

My friend M calls. 'Come for cocktails,' she says. 'I think you might need strong liquor.'

I wonder if she has heard about the everybody sharpen up comment.

My kind neighbours send a little plant, in a pretty pot.

The Sister comes round, and we walk through the trees and past the sheep and the lambs. We talk, suddenly, without quite meaning to, about our father. It has sometimes been complicated, with us and him. He was a magnificent man in so many ways, but also would be the first to admit that he would not be up on the podium for parent of the century. Now, we find ourselves remembering the good bits, the funny bits, the inexplicable little lines he used to say, when we were small, that went into family folklore. We remember how physical he was, how comforting when he hugged us. We laugh, quite a lot, at the memories.

'I want to remember that Good Dad,' I say. 'That is what I am going to do.'

The Pigeon wags her tail. She has not been doing that much lately. I take it as a Sign.

I look at the trees, their leaves still new, sketched in ten different shades of green. I think: this is what matters now. What matters now is the Love, and the Beauty. I think: I am really, really lucky that I get both.

There are clouds. But there are silver linings, too.


Now for pictures of the day:

11th May 2

11th May 3


11th May 5

11th May 6

11th May 7

11th May 8

11th May 10

11th May 12

11th May 12-1

11th May 1

Still that little piano face; but the tail was wagging. She is not yet back to her usual self, but she has not lost all her joy.

The hill:

11th May 13


  1. I got on the tube the day after my mum's funeral and told the whole carriage at Baker Street that life was immensely precious and that no time nor day should be wasted letting irrelevancies weigh us down. Love and beauty was all that mattered. I was 20 and they were startled! I got off and went to my university law of trust lecture feeling a better person. (unfortunately it did not last forever and occasionally I can be found sweating the small stuff but always drinking good coffee and looking at beautiful flowers while I do it!)

    Amanda x

  2. Nothing really matters but that we should not make things worse. If we can make some things better we are heading in the right direction.

  3. Sitting down to bacon, tomatoes, marmelade and coffee prepared for you by your Mother and Stepfather must be so comforting.
    For me it is always roasted peppers freshly prepared by my dear old Papa' and covered in luscious extra virgin olive oil, always freshly made by him whenever I go back to stay with him in his beautiful old house in Italy.

    I am now so grateful to be still looked after at times by my other parent.

    Mamma left us seven years ago.

    Keep to the Good and Beautiful and it will start feeling better, both for you and for dear Pigeon.

    Ps. Loved the today's pictures of the flowery medows and the three trees. X

  4. Spring is looking absolutely beautiful in your part of the world. The Pigeon keeps making me cry x

  5. homemade marmalade sounds divine.

    what em said

    I love your words, I love your pictures.

  6. Your writing is so incredibly arresting. Again a hugely beautiful and thoughtful post. Thank you.

    Helena xx

  7. Dearest Tania, you're right of course, it is all that matters. Sending love to you and the Pigeon xx


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